Bad days at the flea...

I will start off on a positive note saying that a bad day at the flea is still better than a great day litigating!  That being said, having days where you make little money is hard.  Not just financially but emotionally.  So today we made nothing - I mean really $17 dollars profit and I spent that in the first 10 minutes I was there buying new merchandise.  My mind goes dark and I start to think things like:

Am I priced too high?

Did I pay too much?

Do people not like my merchandise?

Do people not like me?

Is this all just an incredible waste of time and resources?

Should I just hang it up?

I like to live in the problem for awhile - brooding over my very apparent lack of success and then still not wanting to let go of the angst I do what I have been doing since I can remember - I begin to recall all of my other failures:

Blue hair in the 80s

Basketball

The California bar exam (twice!!)

Selling children's clothing online.

The dreaded Kids Club (please don't bring that one up if you ever meet me unless you want an ear full).

And the list goes on and on...in my mind anyway!  And in very short period of time I have conjured up so many failures in my life that I am immobile on the couch...or floor as the case may be.

But why is it that I am oriented that way?  To eek all positives out of a situation when there are really more positives than negatives.  I think I grew up believing that the world was out to get me - I have no idea where I got this idea but I had it.  It has taken a long time and year of therapy (kidding) to work myself into a newer way to view "the negative".

Now I see it as a process - my perception of a given situation is my first thought - bad or good, pleasurable or painful, never ending or too brief.  Most of my life I let this first thought that I have absolutely no control over be the ONLY thought.  I think I was over 40 before I realized that it didn't have to be the lasting thought.  Some might call it denial - but I choose to call it thoughtfulness.  So now when faced with a bad day at the flea or just a bad day in general, I acknowledge the first impression as I would someone that I see at my children's school that I don't want to talk to - a quick wave or head nod and then I am on my way!  I acknowledge it exists but I don't feed the thought.  I give it as little of my energy as I possibly can and then I move on to more thoughtful thoughts - relish in my successful days or better moments.

We are all going to have bad days and for me those days can be shortened into moments.  I can start my day over any time I want to.  My first can simply be my first thought and nothing more.  So on bad flea days I am going to spend more of my time relishing the fact that I get to hang onto my treasures a little longer, that I got to spend the day outside in the beautiful sunshine with my husband, that nothing lasts forever - not even bad days at the flea.

We got in!!!!!!!!!

If you know me or have read this blog - you know that my first career path did not call for any kind of artistic approach to life.  I guess I was creative with arguments and words but not artistic.  So this new path has been fraught with insecurity for me.  When Tom suggested that I start selling my immediate thought was "I AM NOT GOOD ENOUGH!!"  And that thought has reigned almost supreme until it was crowded out by a quieter more humble thought of "what do you have to lose?"  PRIDE I thought.  But pride has never really been all that great to me so I figured what the hell it sure beats litigating!  However with each new show or venue that was suggested, I would revisit the same pangs of insecurity.  Each time I expected to fail and instead made money, was encouraged and praised that what I brought to the show was not only good enough but it was really cool.  I couldn't believe it!  Me - the person who can't draw stick figures!  Me - the person who is not a trained designer!  Me - the person who last took art in the 8th grade!  Me!??!?!?

I know that I don't compare to the true designers - I don't have the education, experience or background but apparently I do have enough of what it takes because I (we) have been accepted into a high end antique show in November.  This show receives national media attention and draws people from all over the Northern hemisphere!  I cannot believe that I will have the privilege to sell next to people who have been trained and have years and years of experience!  I am so excited and nervous that I want to throw up!

It seems that my head might continue to play the old tapes (yes they are tapes in my head - I am over 40 you know) of the "I'm not good enough" chorus but I don't have push play all the time.  I don't think that I will ever feel good enough but I do feel like I am willing to try.  Being willing to try, in my experience, is sometimes all you need...breaking the tape recorder also doesn't hurt!

Hope you find the willingness to try something your head says you can't - soon!

Erin

Who am I?

 

Oh where to begin!  We are retired - well kinda.  We are in our early 40s and are blessed to be in a position where we were able to thumb our noses at convention and escape the rat race.  In my former life I was a divorce attorney.  I went to court everyday and fought for my clients and their kids.  I LOVED it!  I loved everything about it....then I had kids.  I suddenly was less excited about going to work and found myself wanting to be at home with my son.  Then came my daughter.  I started to work from home and go to court less and less.  Then I just quit.  I just didn't have any of that fight left in me (Tom would disagree about that).  I have thoughts about going back - they are fleeting and disturbing and I quickly usher them to the background of my life - back to the "maybe later" shelf.  So I stayed at home with my kids - then I stayed in the car with my kids - running them to preschool, play dates and parties.  Then they started school and I suddenly had all this free time on my hands.  What to do?  I don't want to admit this but I filled my time not with volunteering for great causes or crusades - I filled my time shopping.  Not the mall kind of shopping but the digging through the junk kind of shopping.  I redid our house - every room with the treasures I brought home.  Then the treasures started piling up in our garage.  Projects I called them - they ended up way back on the "maybe later" shelf too...

 

One day Tom entered or tried to enter our garage and couldn't.  I had accumulated so many projects that there was no space to work on them if I ever found the time...Tom did not look all that happy.  He told me that he thought I had a great eye for things and that I should start selling at the local swap meet on Wednesdays.  I was reluctant.  I am a lawyer not a designer but I am also a realist and quickly realized that the next divorce case might be my own if I didn't rehome some of my loot soon!

So called and got myself a space and the rest is history as they say.  I fell in love with the "flea" life and haven't looked back.  I love everything about my new career:  shopping, reusing, repurposing, reinventing, redesigning, researching.  (Notice I listed shopping first...)  So some months later I find myself sitting pretty.  I have a new job that I love just as much (ok more...much, much more) as my old career.  I am grateful for my success and look forward to the journey of what is to come.

I remember when I started my own practice right out of law school and everyone said that I would never make it!  I remember being terrified and that every time a client's case ended I was sure that another client would never darken my door again.  I went to a continuing education class and some attorney who had been in private practice for 30 years said the same thing that I thought.  Something changed in me that day - I realized that I am not supposed to worry about the tomorrows that have yet to come - I am supposed to be present and enjoy what I am doing right here, right now.  And I do.  

 

I hope that I can provide you some of the joy that I have found in my new adventure and it won't hurt to pass along to you some of the treasures I've found.  Happy Shopping!

My life in rust...

Welcome to The Rustic Rooster Blog!

Please check out my website www.therusticrooster.net for more information about us. 

It is my intention - yes there is that word that obligates me to be accountable - to blog daily - the reality is that I will be lucky if I do it weekly!  Regardless, I have had a very interesting year starting this business and I am more than happy to share my experiences with you.

Thank you for reading!

Erin